What did you learn too late in life?
Many things. I am 51 when I am writing this, so I guess there’s still time 😃
1. Friend groups, colleagues groups, condo groups, sports groups - everything has a life cycle. There is a good likelihood that they would cease to exist and you would find new groups. So do not fret. And learn to move on to newer things. Do not assume that something is life long.
2. For a working person, career progression is a matter of you fitting in the rule book. If the rule book of your company or industry say that a certain role can’t progress beyond a certain level, then even a noble prize wont give you the progression. So find out the rules and take relevant action.
3. Money can’t buy happiness but it can and does definitely buy things which in turns gives you happiness. So be watchful and always be respectful towards money.
4. Material success is not a function of hard work, luck, networking or a specific one or a combination of things. There is no recipe. One model of Toyota gets insanely successful while two others fail really bad. So stop chasing it. Work hard, look for luck, meet people and build connections but do not believe in ‘a’ formula.
5. And finally, “'मन का हो तो अच्छा, ना हो तो और भी अच्छा'” Hindi pinyin :“man ka ho to achchha, na ho to aur bhee achchha (If its as per your heart/mind then its that's good, and if its not then its even better). 'If it is what you want, it is good, if it is not, it is even better' This is from a poem by Shri Harivansh Rai Bacchan.
Keep learning 😉
I am Happy being with myself :-😀
I’ve learned that most people are frauds..total fakes. They only hang out with you when there’s something in it for them. The moment they see you struggle or have difficulties in your life they disappear like cockroaches in the light.
I recently experienced a big ‘Work Struggle’ (my role was impacted) in my life. It was all of sudden so it hit me even more. But this event, gave me a real opportunity to genuinely see who is helping and who is not, in terms of real action. And I did find many people who meant well and more importantly *acted*. So I feel sad for your response but yeah, there were many more who kind of disappeared or simply didn’t know on how can they help. To each his own but now I am conscious of my time/energy/relationship and spend it wisely. :-)
I experienced this first hand during covid…now I hardly keep any friends barring a couple or 3..people who you think yiu know them for more than 10 years you hardly do since most have a very different thinking n if you live your life contrary to their thinking patterns etc…they don't think much of you..strange but true..no better example than being an animal lover…n they aren't at all..
so play the game right back. im always nice, but if people dont give me the time of day then why should that continue to affect me? just focus on urself
Friend groups. Most will be around if you make them feel good about themselves or look good. However, if you become more successful than them - they will find things to dislike about you. This is why it is so important to keep finding new groups. If you have one or two friends that are genuinely happy when you succeed - you are very lucky! You get the constant victims who in 20 years time will still be complaining about their job, boss, partner or whatever. Then you get people who take action and try things. In my experience groups break apart because of dynamics like this.
I so agree - you stated this well - seek the people who have passion and make a plan, and follow-through and take actions, adjust, etc. until they meet their goals or revise their goals (sometimes as you get closer to a goal - the journey reveals better options or less costly ways to get there, or - “it” is not what you want after all due to x reasons, etc.)
Well said, Morgan. Also, the proximity angle. Well, you may have the ‘school group’ intact but only active on SocialMedia (Say WhatsApp group) with very little to nil, face to face interaction. And yes, there would always be some who are unhappy about the state of affairs :-), world is made of all kind of people so embrace them (but totally ignore the rant).
Friend groups may come and go, but genuine people exist and if you’re lucky you will befriend some of them. Certainly, many colleagues and neighbors will turn out to be just fleeting acquaintances, but there are some friends I have been lucky enough to have for 30–40 years, so for most of my life. Our friendship have survived ups and downs, living in different countries etc. I hope I will be so lucky to keep them for life.
Very rightly said Svala Jonsdottir . Individual friends are still around, though the group is mostly on the paper (say a Social Media group :-) chat) wishing Bdays and anniversaries. And I guess thats the way it is. Happy for you.
You are especially fortunate. A good friend is like a precious jewel.
मन का हो तो अच्छा, ना हो तो और भी अच्छा। (man ka ho to achchha, na ho to aur bhee achchha). It hurts, but I eventually realize everything's other name is let it go.
Floss everyday before bedtime.
I came here to say the same thing!
Better, dental irrigator…
When I was 20 years old I asked an 85 year old man for his advice on how to live a good life. He said, “You get old too quick and you learn too slow”! Next year I will be 80 years young. He was right!
A simple post that makes sense!
Just move on like waters…
I've learnt that many people manipulate and use you if you let them. Shallow is describing most people.Only a few people in your life will be close friends. Be open but hold others st a good arms length. Don't tell them too much as knowledge is power. They will toss you if you challenge them in a nanosecond.You will know who and what they are right then.
When I think back in my life at 65, I wish my interests wasn't focused on a few things that in my opinion were meaningless and wasted time. People come and go in life, so I should not have allocated time as I did to dating or a relationship and not let my emotions interfere with my career.
I should have taken the view that I have now, women will come and go, don’t spend so much time on one woman and her needy personality.
I should have spent more time on my career and my small business.
I should have gotten interested in buying REO real estate earlier, that would have allowed me to purchase more real estate needing repairs and then selling them for a profit.
I should have not allowed my long-term ex-partner, who asked me not to allocate the time needed to obtain my PHD, just because she wanted me to be with her more.
I have a few more but I will settle the main things I learned late in life. I realize that not everyone will agree, but that is another thing I realized later, not to care about what other people think when to accomplishing my goals and dismiss people who would interfere with my desires in life.
The old saying is that you start life thinking everyone cares about you, then you realise only some people care. Finally it dawns on you that nobody gives a monkey’s!
Definition of NOT GIVE A MONKEY'S
to not care at all about something.… See the full definition
Lol true
I'm 54, nearly 55 & I'm learning some hard lessons. I had kids when I was 40. They're lovely people, whom I treat with much love and kindness because they're my world, but they're totally self absorbed. I honestly don't think they'd notice if I died, as long as they kept having a good time, didn't get inconvenienced and their needs were met. Most adults are like this. I was in this job where I put my heart and soul. I contributed and kept giving and giving so much of myself, because I really believed in my mission that my purpose is to serve others. I was always told how much I was loved and appreciated. Until one day I wasn't. All those people who were fawning all over me, once I was out of sight, I was out of mind. It amazed me how fake and self absorbed people really are!! They really just don't CARE about you. You're only useful for what they can get out of you to fulfil their needs. Then they dump you. It's a cold, cruel world…
Job thing is spot-on. Its mostly the ‘chair’ you occupy which gets the love-appreciation-bigwords , it may make you feel that it's you but most often it's not.
As for kids thing, It's not my place to comment on your relationship but if may comment then from my own personal experience, it could just be the teen-thing. It will pass. For sure.
very - very well said, spot on amigos!
I argue Im not running late in life on this topic so from my standpoint , the answer is taking everything personally, upholding my values and seeking for help in times of sorrow. Once you realize what has brought us this far as humankind, you stop seeing people as enemies and start viewing them as allies
If you ask me, we are the master's of today at this age……we have seen development happening in every sphere at every step and also we have managed to learn to keep above the water !!!
Sometimes I wonder , what a bad death “ hard work “ has had in this generation !!!.. the struggle two humans go thru to keep a family of two, alive and kicking..thank God the big families don't exist any more..
“Love” doesn’t work. Want to get rid of somebody just tell them you love them. Works like a charm.
Reading the comment I would like to add one thing. For your own sake, don't be bitter. It only makes things worse for yourself and less fun. Whether you have the right to be bitter or not.
I'm not intending to insult anyone. Apologies if I do.
I was lucky at age 15 when I began to think about religions. They did not make sense. Today, I am thankful to be free of all these man-made dogmas. Atheism allowed me to be human with all the respect for all other living creatures. The horse blinders are gone, and I constantly remind myself not to believe all I might think.
Helmut, that's why when atheists behave the right way toward others we know that they have ethical standards and not because they are waiting for a reward in their afterlife or afraid to be punished for the evildoing. Quite often religious beliefs make people act nicely toward their own but behave in different ways toward others. For atheists, on the other hand, motivations are different and very clear. You are either a moral person and do what is morally right or you are not.
Wise words. I was so sad and angry when my group of friends (we shared the same hobby) just splintered without any major conflict inside of it. I couldn’t understand it.
I learned too late that when things are going good for you, DON’T run off hoping to find something better, because it never works! I’ve done this in my life multiple times. I can excuse myself when younger, but I kept on doing it over and over. Now I am 62, and all alone in life. No wife, no girlfriend, no kids, no close relationships anywhere. Because every time a woman loved me, I felt compelled to go look for someone better. When I was in a good life situation, I felt compelled to wander to some other far off place looking for something even better. But it never happened.
The old saying is spot on. “A Bird in the Hand is worth Two in the Bush.” I literally threw away multiple birds in my hand, in order to go off searching for better birds in the bush, but I always ended up empty handed.
Spot on. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Excellent lessons. For me, the first item is something which took me many years to accept when I was younger, particularly in my twenties and early thirties.
Then before I realised it, I was forty and the years began to fly by.
Thank you for this.
There is no Santa Claus …
What is a “noble” prize? I've never heard of it.
Novel Peace Prize - given in various topical areas
I do not know what the “Novel” Prize is either. Must be something brand new!
Nobel Prize, named after Alfred Nobel, but you could pretty easily infer that even though there was a typo in the name.
Oooohhhhhhh yeeeaaahhhh, that one, yeeees of course. Then how about referring to it by its real name!
Nobel
Like your comment about money..
100% totally agree
"Material success is not a function of hard work, luck, networking or a specific one or a combination of things. There is no recipe. One model of Toyota gets insanely successful while two others fail really bad. So stop chasing it. Work hard, look for luck, meet people and build connections but do not believe in ‘a’ formula"
Data would suggest otherwise. IQ and conscientiousness from the big five are both decent predictor or material success. But it is true that there is no recipe that will yield success 100% of the time. However, everything that you can't control is by definition luck so I would say a combination of intelligence, hardwork and luck does get you to 100%, people just tend to overestimate what they do control.
Especially your first three points, you the nail right on its top!
I’m a bit confused by the meaning of the poem. What is he getting at?
He is mostly saying that things in life, whether it's of your liking or not, is not super important. So in a poetic way, if something you experience or encounter or you get is good if its of your liking but its even better if its not. Just move on, kinda thing.
Thank you.
I learned hardly anyone ever dies from working hard
True.. I agree , every friend ship/ relation comes with an expiry date ! At our Gurusthan .. I’ve seen fervent devotees .. ppl who want to make friends with us , old timers .. & after a few years .. when their work is done .. they suddenly disappear completely 🤨🫣..someone told me , these ppl have an agenda .. once it’s fulfilled , they don’t need you anymore ! They r like passing ships in the ocean of life !
This is a shame. I’m 80. Learned nothing yet. Except that to succeed you need a little serendipity.
Indians HATE to see another Indian succeed. Sum total of their problems.
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