Children who have good social life skills find it easier to make and keep real friends. They are liked by their peers and generally get along well with others. They also tend to have fewer arguments and disagreements.
🔻 Help Your Child Make Friends
Many parents feel there is little they can do to influence who their children choose as friends. However, parents have an important role in monitoring and encouraging children's friendships. Here are some tips:
• Show an interest in your child's friends and their families. This is good for your child and it allows you to meet and get to know better other parents.
• Talk about what it means to be a friend and how to make new friends. This may come up in casual conversation or be triggered by an event at school, such as a child being hurt or left out.
• Suggest to your child that they invite another child to visit your home. If your child is reluctant to ask, be prepared to contact the parents to invite their child over to play.
• Expect appropriate behavior from your child when they have a friend or friends over. if there was a problem last time visit, discuss some rules. Talk about what will happen if your child follows or breaks the rules. Ask your child to state the rules as a reminder -- So what do you have to remember today when Heather comes over to play?
• Expect appropriate behavior from other children when they are a guest in your home. For example, if a visitor is rude or demanding, and you expect good manners from your own child, be prepared to remind the visitor of your house rule. Ask the children to try again using a pleasant voice.
• If the visitor upset or hurts your child, separate the children for a short time. try to speak to the visitor's parent about the problem and what should be done to prevent it in the future.
🔻 What To Do if Your Child Hurts Others
Aggression and teasing are common problems in school-aged children. many children who hurt or tease others at school show similar behavior at home towards siblings. When children hurt others, it needs to be taken seriously. If you find out about it, try to work out why it is happening and develop a plan to deal with the problem.
If another parent or the school has reported that your child has hurt another child, consider the following steps:
• Listen carefully to what your child is said to have done. Take down notes, like the name of other child involved, time, place, etcs.
• Discuss the problem with your child. Let your child know how you found out and describe exactly what you were told. Keep your opinion/feelings to yourself during this time of describing what you found out. Ask your child to tell you what happened. Write down if your want to. It helps the child if you can map out the descriptions. Listen to your child's explanation. Do not interrupt or correct the child now.
• Let your child know that hurting others is a serious problem and it must stop with immediate effect. Do not accept explanations that minimize the problem, such as saying they were only having fun.
• Help your child become aware of the impact of their behavior on others -- How do you think you would feel if someone did that to you?
• Explain the consequences of hurting others. Point out that aggression is not tolerated at school and that your child could get into serious trouble if it happens again.
• Watch how your child interacts with other children. What specifically does you child do that annoys or upsets them ( e.g. name calling, using threatening words or gestures, hitting, hurting, deliberately leaving out another child, making up stories about another child, or telling tales).
• To encourage playing nicely, praise your child and give them positive attention for playing well with others.
• If you see your child hurt another child, act quickly. Tell your child what they have done wrong and what they should have done instead. Provide an immediate back-up consequence such as time-out or loss of a privilege.
If the problem is serious or longstanding, work with your child's school and find out how they would like to deal with the situation. Many schools have anti-bullying strategies. The best approach is usually a collaborative one in which staff, students and parents are made aware that bullying is a concern in the school. The most effective programs involved increased supervision of students, teaching coping strategies to children who are bullied, and teaching strategies to children who are bullying about how to solve problems without being aggressive.
Another approach is to use a home-school contract where teachers note episodes of aggression on a chart that is sent home daily with the child. This can be a simple system that rewards children with privileges at home for behaving well at school, and provide a penalty if bullying occurs.
HAVING HEALTY SELF-ESTEEM
(click here)
🔻 Help Your Child Make Friends
Many parents feel there is little they can do to influence who their children choose as friends. However, parents have an important role in monitoring and encouraging children's friendships. Here are some tips:
• Show an interest in your child's friends and their families. This is good for your child and it allows you to meet and get to know better other parents.
• Talk about what it means to be a friend and how to make new friends. This may come up in casual conversation or be triggered by an event at school, such as a child being hurt or left out.
• Suggest to your child that they invite another child to visit your home. If your child is reluctant to ask, be prepared to contact the parents to invite their child over to play.
• Expect appropriate behavior from your child when they have a friend or friends over. if there was a problem last time visit, discuss some rules. Talk about what will happen if your child follows or breaks the rules. Ask your child to state the rules as a reminder -- So what do you have to remember today when Heather comes over to play?
• Expect appropriate behavior from other children when they are a guest in your home. For example, if a visitor is rude or demanding, and you expect good manners from your own child, be prepared to remind the visitor of your house rule. Ask the children to try again using a pleasant voice.
• If the visitor upset or hurts your child, separate the children for a short time. try to speak to the visitor's parent about the problem and what should be done to prevent it in the future.
🔻 What To Do if Your Child Hurts Others
Aggression and teasing are common problems in school-aged children. many children who hurt or tease others at school show similar behavior at home towards siblings. When children hurt others, it needs to be taken seriously. If you find out about it, try to work out why it is happening and develop a plan to deal with the problem.
If another parent or the school has reported that your child has hurt another child, consider the following steps:
• Listen carefully to what your child is said to have done. Take down notes, like the name of other child involved, time, place, etcs.
• Discuss the problem with your child. Let your child know how you found out and describe exactly what you were told. Keep your opinion/feelings to yourself during this time of describing what you found out. Ask your child to tell you what happened. Write down if your want to. It helps the child if you can map out the descriptions. Listen to your child's explanation. Do not interrupt or correct the child now.
• Let your child know that hurting others is a serious problem and it must stop with immediate effect. Do not accept explanations that minimize the problem, such as saying they were only having fun.
• Help your child become aware of the impact of their behavior on others -- How do you think you would feel if someone did that to you?
• Explain the consequences of hurting others. Point out that aggression is not tolerated at school and that your child could get into serious trouble if it happens again.
• Watch how your child interacts with other children. What specifically does you child do that annoys or upsets them ( e.g. name calling, using threatening words or gestures, hitting, hurting, deliberately leaving out another child, making up stories about another child, or telling tales).
• To encourage playing nicely, praise your child and give them positive attention for playing well with others.
• If you see your child hurt another child, act quickly. Tell your child what they have done wrong and what they should have done instead. Provide an immediate back-up consequence such as time-out or loss of a privilege.
If the problem is serious or longstanding, work with your child's school and find out how they would like to deal with the situation. Many schools have anti-bullying strategies. The best approach is usually a collaborative one in which staff, students and parents are made aware that bullying is a concern in the school. The most effective programs involved increased supervision of students, teaching coping strategies to children who are bullied, and teaching strategies to children who are bullying about how to solve problems without being aggressive.
Another approach is to use a home-school contract where teachers note episodes of aggression on a chart that is sent home daily with the child. This can be a simple system that rewards children with privileges at home for behaving well at school, and provide a penalty if bullying occurs.
HAVING HEALTY SELF-ESTEEM
(click here)
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