A daddy once told me that whenever his daughter was unhappy with her mother's disciplinary methods, she would come to him complaining about it. My question to him was, "So what did you say?"
"Nothing," he replied.
Silence means consensus. By being silent, this daddy was agreeing with his daughter, but more importantly, he was not adopting a united front with Mother in enforcing discipline. It weakened Mother's position.
According to him, his silence meant he was neutral. But far from being harmless, it could set a precedent that would ultimately lead to even more problems in enforcing discipline.
Enforcing discipline is one of the toughest roles of parenting. No parent relishes it and few children enjoy it. yet, it is probably the greatest gift parents can bequeath to their children. Because of this, fathers need to support mothers even if they are at odds with their disciplinary methods. Agree in public, and differ in private if need be.
Why?
Children take the cue from the man of the house. Being passive would be tantamount to overriding their mother. By verbally supporting their mother, fathers would have giver her a tremendous credibility boost in enforcing discipline. Your empowerment will lead to a 'saner' home, not to mention a happier spouse, and a boost to your relationship.
That being said, you can share your differing views in private. Just make sure it is not within earshot of your child. Couples will have disagreements when it comes to disciplining children; it's perfectly normal. Agree to disagree, and a stronger, more coherent ( logical and consistent) disciplinary strategy will evolve over time.
Once children know that their parents have a united font, and both Mum and Dad endorse the proper boundaries and behavioural expectations, they tend to be more cooperative. And Mum needs all the support she can get.
This is what a truly supportive husband -- and Hero Parent -- looks like.
Lectures Don't Work. (click here)
"Nothing," he replied.
Silence means consensus. By being silent, this daddy was agreeing with his daughter, but more importantly, he was not adopting a united front with Mother in enforcing discipline. It weakened Mother's position.
According to him, his silence meant he was neutral. But far from being harmless, it could set a precedent that would ultimately lead to even more problems in enforcing discipline.
Enforcing discipline is one of the toughest roles of parenting. No parent relishes it and few children enjoy it. yet, it is probably the greatest gift parents can bequeath to their children. Because of this, fathers need to support mothers even if they are at odds with their disciplinary methods. Agree in public, and differ in private if need be.
Why?
Children take the cue from the man of the house. Being passive would be tantamount to overriding their mother. By verbally supporting their mother, fathers would have giver her a tremendous credibility boost in enforcing discipline. Your empowerment will lead to a 'saner' home, not to mention a happier spouse, and a boost to your relationship.
That being said, you can share your differing views in private. Just make sure it is not within earshot of your child. Couples will have disagreements when it comes to disciplining children; it's perfectly normal. Agree to disagree, and a stronger, more coherent ( logical and consistent) disciplinary strategy will evolve over time.
Once children know that their parents have a united font, and both Mum and Dad endorse the proper boundaries and behavioural expectations, they tend to be more cooperative. And Mum needs all the support she can get.
This is what a truly supportive husband -- and Hero Parent -- looks like.
Lectures Don't Work. (click here)
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