British English

British English . God's worst linguists

If the world is learning English, why on earth should the British learn the world's languages?

The trouble with Johnny Foreigner, as the British have long remarked, is that he can't understand you. But the trouble with the British is that they can't learn his language: most of them simply can not get the hang of all those conjugations and gerundives and adjectives that have to agree with nouns. Now, as luck would have it, the whole world seems to be learning English. Problem solved. Moreover, the British government seems to agree. In the year 2004, it decided to drop the requirement that all British 14 - 16-year-olds should study at least one foreign language. Of course, the numbers doing so went into free-fall, leading to a twinge of official concern; but a committee of inquiry is likely to advise this week that there can be no going back (see article). Brainy Britons may master several tongues; the others will continue to converse with the rest of mankind in God's own language, English.

英式英语 。Yīng shì yīngyǔ. 

上帝最糟糕的语言学家。Shàngdì zuì zāogāo de yǔyán xué jiā.

  如果全世界都在学习英语，Rúguǒ quán shìjiè dōu zài xuéxí yīngyǔ, 那英国人到底为什么要学习世界语言呢？nà yīngguó rén dàodǐ wèishéme yào xuéxí shìjiè yǔyán ne?

  正如英国人长期以来所说的那样，约翰尼·外国人的问题在于他听不懂你的话。Zhèngrú yīngguó rén chángqí yǐlái suǒ shuō dì nàyàng, yuēhàn ní·wàiguó rén de wèntí zàiyú tā tīng bù dǒng nǐ dehuà. 但英国人的麻烦在于他们无法学习他的语言： Dàn yīngguó rén de máfan zàiyú tāmen wúfǎ xuéxí tā de yǔyán: 他们中的大多数人根本无法掌握所有那些必须与名词一致的词形变化、动名词和形容词。Tāmen zhōng de dà duōshù rén gēnběn wúfǎ zhǎngwò suǒyǒu nàxiē bìxū yǔ míngcí yīzhì de cí xíng biànhuà, dòng míngcí hé xíngróngcí.   现在，幸运的是，全世界似乎都在学习英语。Xiànzài, xìngyùn de shì, quán shìjiè sìhū dōu zài xuéxí yīngyǔ. 问题解决了。 而且，英国政府似乎也同意这一点。 2004年，英国决定取消所有英国14-16岁青少年至少学习一门外语的要求。 当然，这样做的数字直线下降，引起了官方的担忧。 但调查委员会可能会在本周提出建议，不能回头（见文章）。 聪明的英国人可能会掌握多种语言； 其他人将继续用上帝自己的语言英语与其他人类交谈。